Day 11

Well yesterday sucked. I mean really sucked.

Kathy's funeral was overflowing with people, in fact it was standing room only. Of course I expected this, she was a remarkable person and deserved to have such a large amount of people come to honour her. Due to the amount of people in the room the emotion over powering. It was impossible to not feel the pain and loss each and everyone of us were experiencing. It was heartbreaking to watch and listen as students said good bye to someone they cared so deeply for. Her daughters spoke with grace and maturity and when they walked by me as pallbearers for their mothers casket it did me in. This loss has left me numb, I know it will ease but for now a real smile is hard to come by.

I had to leave the funeral immediately for my Salin-Sono and pap. Joy (sarcasm), I have had this test done before but because I am proceeding with IVF I had to do it again to ensure everything was clear. So I lay their in my funeral blouse and had my body poked and prodded. Everything is fine. I can go forward with IVF. I am happy about this, I really am. I just can't smile yet.

-Hating the Sono-



Day 8

Day 8 already, time is moving quickly...Day 21 and the start of meds will be coming soon!!!

 Day 3 went well. Ultrasound looked good and blood work got done. Hubby survived the horror of the blood work he even was able to stay seated and didn't have to lie down. Here are a few photos of our day at the clinic. Hubby showing off his boo boo and me with my Gatorade so I was ready for my full bladder ultrasound and ready to give 15 vials of blood. YUCK.



Friday is my salin-sonogram and it falls on a terrible day. A close friend of mine passed away on Monday, it was very sudden and unexpected and her funeral is also on Friday. The staff at my clinic have been wonderful and have been desperately trying to get me another appt. but have not been successful. So I will have to basically rush out of the funeral to the salin-sono appt. Not ideal...

My friend Kathy was an incredible woman, she was the social worker at my school and was an amazing mentor to me and a support to so many students. The visitation and funeral will be incredibly hard for me  personally and to so many students who will be attending. I will be going with a few former students who were close to her, hoping to lend them some support.

good night my dear Kathy

xxoo

Day 2

Today was a rainy day here...sort of one of those low key don't feel like doing much days.

So guess what I did...no much. Wandered the mall didn't buy anything and went to physio.

For those who don't know within the last six months I have developed a torn meniscus in my right knee, broken my ring finger on my right hand and most recently just got a cast off of my left foot after having broken it. So I am currently in physio for my foot. A necessary part of my life, without it I don't think I would be walking very far.

Tomorrow I am doing my day three ultrasound and blood work and then we head up north. I have not had an ultrasound in over six month so I have to do the usual transvag. and then the full bladder ultrasound. I hate the full bladder especially if you have to wait!!! yikes!

Hubby is also doing blood work tomorrow and bless him he hates having his blood taken, seriously hates it. So I know how rough tomorrow morning is going to be for him.

The pay off for the crummy morning is that we will have four days up north with my family and our puppy dog. YAY!!!!

Enjoy your weekend friends,

xxoo

Day 1

Well today is day 1. So IVF begins....

I have all of my beginning dates booked..

Meeting with Doc, initial ultrasounds and such and then starting Superfact on day 21 of the cycle. I am excited and nervous. Excited because this could finally be our chance at having a baby...this is something we have been looking towards for a long time and now it is here.

I am nervous for MANY reasons. I am nervous of the whole procedure and I am terrified of the retrieval, really terrified. I won't go into all of the reasons I am terrified but as we move along in this process you will hear all about every little fear...all for now.

xxoo

Back to the world of Blogging

That's right I am back.

The last ten months have been wonderful. No appts., no stress about ovulation or that horrible waiting that comes after every ovulation.

I have spent time with my family, enjoyed time with my husband and have spent more time with my friends. I have been happy. I have been living life and loving it!!!

I have learnt that I don't need children to full fill my life.  I now know that if I don't have a child I will be ok, I will not fall apart. I will be happy. This is huge, this is what I needed to know. With this knowledge I can now look to the future and that future is back to the uphill battle of infertility and the world of IVF. Yup the big guns are coming out.

About a week or so ago I looked at my day planner (yes I still use a day planner, how very 1990's of me) and I realized I was not far away from day one of a new cycle (old habits die hard, I still count my cycle days).  The first thought that came to mind was 'now is a good time to start IVF' so there it was after months and months of not being sure I was ready!

With this new confidence I called my IVF nurse and booked an appt. and am now ready to begin the IVF treatment cycle on my upcoming day one, which to be honest is just a few days away.

I have organized myself with a nice binder filled with all the important forms and information and such and know that this will give me at least a little bit of control when my body is being overloaded with hormones and I am otherwise feeling out of control.

Tonight hubby and I were looking through and signing consent forms, all fairly easy choices. One question I do have is regarding assisted hatching for those of you in the IVF world you will know what I mean...I am not well versed in it enough to describe it here but Dr. Google has some good information. Anyways I am not sure it is something we should consent to...so if you have information or an opinion share with me.

Right now hubby is asleep and I am writing this, I tried to sleep but just ended up sitting in bed thinking about what to write here...so here I am. Back and ready to go through this process. I am hoping for the love and support I remember from all of you bloggers out there and look forward to sharing this journey with all of you.

xxoo