new blog

Hey there folks! I am writing a new blog that I would love for you all to check out and follow. It is about the books that I am reading and my love for them. So if you love to read check it out and follow :)
Of course this is a new blog so there is not much there but there is more to come. www.lovelyliterature.blogspot.com


mixed emotions

Today is a day of mixed emotions for me. To start I am still in the self loathing place about weight loss. I feel generally great about myself in every other aspect of my life but my darn weight is a forever issue. I am still up the two pounds still not moving forward. It is frustrating and makes me want to scream. This morning I spent a few minutes just looking at myself in the mirror trying not to say mean things. Bummer.

To get myself in gear I am trying to figure out what activity makes me happy. What do I actually LIKE to do so that I can stay active. I have discovered with absolute certainty that I like to walk. Walking on the treadmill is meh. But walking outside I love, hiking in nature I love more. So there it is I am not a runner (although I don't mind it) I am not a gym rat. I do enjoy biking but I AM a walker. So walk I will.

This afternoon we celebrated a students birthday..she is turning 16 and really wanted a cake. So I bought her a cake and we had it as a class, everyone was happy and we were smart to do it at the end of the day so the sugar high would hit them once they left. When I asked her if she was having cake at home as well she said no. Her family could not afford a cake for her. She said it so factually with no emotion. It is just a part of her life.

I am happy I am part of her life to provide her with a little something extra on days like today. Happy Birthday Keara.


do you ever wonder

Remember when you were little people would ask you. What do you want to be when you grow up. I never knew the answer to that, it would change almost every time someone asked me.
Why do we stop asking that. Why do stop asking adults what they want to be? Is it because when we have found a career it is assumed or expected that it will be our path for life. Do we feel that a belief  in trying something different is juvenile, irresponsible and for dreamers. I don't know that answer to this but I do know that I keep dreaming.
 I have so many things I want to do still. Things I would love to be. I want to learn to be a yoga teacher and a trail guide (hiking guide) I want to get my wilderness first aid. I would love to be  a writer. A real writer which to me is a paid job. I want to travel and climb a mountain. I believe I can do all these things and more. But here is the thing the really big thing that people may smirk at...I want to do and learn to do all these things while being a mother. Difficult. yes. Impossible NEVER!
Dream well my friends.



This weekend is thanksgiving weekend here in Canada. I have much to be thankful for. I feel very blessed for my family, husband and friends. The ability to own a home and a car. To buy groceries when I need them and to enjoy things like going to the movie theatre. I am grateful for these things. I am thankful for my ability to move forward in my life. The fact that I am able to separate myself from my infertility and that I know that by this time next year I will be carrying a child. Of this I am sure.
thank you universe.


no longer crushing

Sitting here in bed feeling like crap. Today I started my period and have cramps from hell that have haunted me for years. This is the first time in a long time that having my period has not crushed me..no expectations no disappointment just a natural part of a ladies life. It feels nice to not have all those emotions attached.
I don't really have much to say, I have been reading you all and am keeping up to date with all of your fertility news I just don't have any to report myself.
In my life right now it is about work, which I love and family, and I am ok with that. I look forward to the future but am satisfied with life as it stands now.
This is a good thing.