happy photo

Well today is choosing a photo that makes me happy. There are many photos that do this but one came to mind right away so here it is
This is us in Quebec city.. we went there for our sixth year wedding anniversary and not only did I fall in love with the city...I fell in love EVEN MORE with my husband. Love you baby!!!!!


These are a few of my favourite things!

Yes favourite things...20 to be exact. Here they are.

1. My cat
2. My bunny
3. My hamster
4. yoga
5. blogging/writing
6. A great book
7. a good cup of tea
8. A massage
9. sleeping in
10. getting my hair done
11. baking
12. scrap booking
13. a really good belly laugh
14. sitting at a campfire
15. boxing day - not the shopping just the day with my family
16. shopping with my mom
17. Coffee with friends
18. Walt Disney World
19. Quebec city - I want to retire there!
20. Sharing a bag of smokey bacon potato chips with my hubby


Book List

I am an avid reader, have been all of my life. As requested I have put together a list of my top 10 reads. Some are books and some are book series. Here is the list in no paticular order.

1. Red Tent
2. Lullabies for little criminals
3. No.1 Lady dectective Series
4. Mary called Magdelene
5. The secret life of bees
6. Shopoholic book series
7. The Mists of Avalon
8. Women of the otherworld Series - Kelly Armstrong
9. Eat, Pray, love
10. Poisonwood Bible
and one more.......

These are all wonderful books. Pretty much all of them have Heroines and are told from the female perspective. All worth a read.


'why are you the size of a teenager' - said by a fat kid grade 4 child in a yellow track suit

Yes this is my favourite quote it was said to my husband during a presention he was doing at a school. Hilarious. Since most of you don't know my hubby he is small like me. I am 5' and he is 5'3. We are small and get mistaken for younger people all the time...just usually not so loudly!


Love to read!

Today is favourite book day. Now I LOVE to read. I have read hundreds and hundreds of books in my life. I can lose myself in a book and not hear the world around me, I can't tell you the amount of times I have missed my subway stop because I have been reading. There are many books I love but one book that stands out in 'The Red Tent' This is a beautiful book written from the female perspective during the biblical time of Joseph. This book captures women's relationships with each other, themselves and their children. Read it, if you have not read it. READ IT!!!!!


Favourite Show

This is an easy one. My very favourite show is Seinfeld. I am can watch it anytime, anywhere. It does not matter how angry or upset I am the show always perks me up. I can tell you whole episodes and laugh as I tell you them. I like it that much!!!!

I have realized that at the end of this week I am heading up north for about 5 days so I will do a blitz of those items on the day that I leave to not fall behind.

Currently sitting outside on our big front porch sipping a tea and typing on my netbook. Hubby is chillaxing and reading his book and our kitty is in his little house on the from porch with us. A wonderful Sunday night. It reminds me that I am grateful for what I already have and hopeful for what is to come.


The list continues...

Today is number 2 on the list. My favourite movie. Again...I don't have one. That's right I don't have a favourite movie...I enjoy watching movies..love comedies and Disney movies but am not a movie lover. I went to an arts high school and majored in theatre. With that came a large group of friends who were crazy for movies. They loved actors and directors and the intense scenes that happen in movies like The Godfather and American Beauty. Me...not so much.

In the world of me things are going well...I am remaining quiet about what my choices will be this cycle because I am not sure what I plan on doing....however I am very excited because today I made a big purchase for myself.  I bought myself a netbook!!!! That is right I am writing this blog on it right now, my very own computer. I have been saving money for myself for awhile now..I didn't really know what I was saving for until this little thought came to mind. NETBOOK, my very own to write on when I please and to call my own. I finally feel like an adult!!!


30 day blog..a good distraction

I have been looking for a distraction away from the world of infertility and what my body is up to at each moment. The goal is to write everyday for 30 days about the assigned subject..today will be my favorite song. I want to thank  My Lovely Lady Bump for this great idea and the perfect distraction at the perfect time.

Here is the list...Find number one below :)

Day 1-your favorite song

Day 2-your favorite movie

Day 3-your favorite television program

Day 4- your favorite book

Day 5-your favorite quote

Day 6- 20 of my favorite things

Day 7-a photo that makes you happy

Day 8-a photo that makes you angry/sad

Day 9-a photo you took

Day 10-a photo taken over 10 years ago of you

Day 11-a photo of you recently

Day 12-something you are OCD about

Day 13-a fictional book

Day 14-a non-fictional book

Day 15-your dream house

Day 16-a song that makes you cry (or nearly)

Day 17-an art piece (drawing,sculpture, painting, etc)

Day 18-my wedding/future wedding/past wedding

Day 19-a talent of yours

Day 20-a hobby of yours

Day 21-a recipe

Day 22-a website

Day 23-a youtube video

Day 24-where I live

Day 25-your day, in great detail

Day 26-your week, in great detail

Day 27-my worst habit

Day 28-whats in my handbag/purse

Day 29-hopes,dreams and plans for the next 365 days

Day 30- a dream for the future
My Favourite Song
Ok so of course the first one is the hardest...isn't it always. The thing is I love music, adore it. Listening to it or playing it myself  I am never happier. Music has the ability to open my heart and make me weep or dance with joy. That being said I don't have a favorite song. WEIRD! I know...I have never been one to have favorite things like songs, t.v shows or movies.
So sadly I can only tell you that I daily listen to the top 40...love to listen to classical music with my cat and really love anything that makes me dance!


feeling the love

I want to take the time to thank everyone in my life who supports and loves me. I have an incredible family who is AMAZING and is truly behind me in all my choices it is amazing and I know I am lucky to have it. My mom and Dad are so wonderful and have been with John and I every step of the way so far and will continue on this journey with us. I have the best friends..their kind words have gotten me through a lot of difficult days. Whether these words were through a coffee chat, text message or facebook. They make me feel worthwhile when I feel like nothing. To my blogger friends...well you understand this world better than anyone. I can always count on you for a laugh, piece of advice and supportive words. THANK YOU!!!!!!!!!!

To my husband. You are the best thing that has ever happened to me. You have always been open to hearing me and my thoughts and have been supportive about every choice I have made regarding my body. You have held my hand through IUI and have held me when I cry because our dream has not come true yet. Your positive energy and belief that this will happen for us is what keeps me going sometimes. I love you.
To my furbabies you mean the world to me...





sad day? No. Sad weekend.

To begin I have decided that I am taking a break from the world of infertility this cycle..I may or may not do the IUI but I will not be writing about any of it...I need a break from the world..I am feeling really down with this last BFN and it hurts so much right now that I am doing what is best for me. I will still be reading and commenting and I will still be writing  but it will be about my life..not my fertility.

My weekend continued with sadness with the passing of my family cat. Our little girl Hope is at peace...as I write this I cry...she was beautiful and sweet and we all loved her so much.

Hope was a rescued cat, she was found outside and she was on the verge of death..having been beaten and left to die to the elements. She weighed barely four pounds and was over a year old. They named her Hope in  hopes that she would live. She did...then my sister and I found her at and adoption centre and begged our parents...we had recently lost our other cat Jingles (handsome boy). Hope lived to be an old girl with us and was so spoiled and loved...we worked very hard to take away all the bad dreams she would have and try and have her forget the horror of the first year of her life. She has been to Florida twice and has spent endless summers at the cottage. She lived a good life and was loved deeply. Bless you little Hope...I will always miss you.


not this time..

Negative test result. Moving on to IUI #4....pray for me please.


jumping the gun?? ahhh who cares!

Yes I jumped the gun I went out and bought a pregnancy journal/planner. You see I am a planner and organizer and am always on a need to know basis, I also love to research things. When we were getting married I had a planner and could not have lived without it. Now I know I have not gotten a BFP and I know I may have to put this book away but I don't care. I am enjoying going through it and since pregnancy is just around the corner no matter what. Why the hell not!!!

As for Hope..she is giving my parents a run for their money...she goes from bad to worse and then not so bad...The wonderful news is that she has eaten today!!!!! this is big and we are hoping for a little more time with her because of this. Please keep our little kitty in your thoughts as she is so sweet.

Later skaters.


waiting sucks

Yes, waiting really does stink. I am three days away from doing my blood test and I am really trying to hold it together. I continue to have minimal cramping..breast are getting a little sore and I am tired!!! I am such an impatient person so this really sucks. I am trying to hard to imagine what it will be like to get a phone call that tells me it is positive, that I am, pregnant...I am finding that hard. So, please continue to send good vibes my way..

In other aspects of my life things are a little sad. My family cat Hope is not well, she is having kidney issues and might be heading towards chronic renal failure...she is a beautiful little girl who is so sweet. We all love her very much and hate having to watch her go through this. She is on medication now and we are hoping for the best. Again with the waiting.....Here is a picture of the darling girl.

So that is pretty much everything...waiting and waiting and trying to stay busy. Will report back soon.


when fear rears its ugly head

I am now 7 days away from my blood test which would tell me if I am preggers...and I am scared....I try and keep positive and tell myself this is it, there is no reason why it cant be, but the little anxiety monster in me says..maybe not.
I am not feeling great today...I have a back ache and a hint of cramping and I am blah feeling.

I am so worried that this means this cycle did not work..I wonder then what next??

Please send  positive vibes my way...I know that at this point I am either pregnant or not but the positive thoughts cant hurt.


10 days to go

10 days! YIKES!!!!! How am I going to keep myself busy for 10 days!!! I test on July 17.....
Now here is the thing about July 17...it is my sisters birthday, that's right my sister is turning 30 this July 17 and what a wonderfully cool thing if we get a positive result on that day! I am thinking this is it, thinking positive, lots of green light.

In other parts of my world it is hot, holy cow it is hot. 43 with the humidity everyday, I am so grateful I have air conditioning.  I remember when I didn't have air and how brutal it was and my heart goes out to all those without a/c.
I have officially hit a plateau with my weight loss so am amping everything up a little. My lofty goal is to lose two pounds this week and next...possible...so we shall see.

Nothing else to report. To all of you hating the heat like me...stay cool.


Waiting Game

IUI is complete - 3 eggs ovulated, 29.9 million sperm first round and 35.5 million second round. Hubby came with me for both IUI and held my hand...it was really nice for him to feel a part of it. Seeing the process gave him a real idea of what I go through during the IUI, made him appreciate me and what I am doing just a little bit more. I am feeling hopeful, I am able to relax since I don't have to go to work so I am thinking this could help.
I was up at the cottage for the past few days and it was glorious, friends, family and up north..nothing is better. It was way to hot to do some hill walking so I wasn't able balance out the cottage food as much as |I would like, so Back on track tomorrow. I have hit a plateau with my weight loss I need to switch things up get more exercise and such. Looking forward to this week, organize the house, go to the gym and well just relax.
off for now.