Well that is two things..one of my Dad's favourite lines from Braveheart and how I feel today. I am officially on vacation. I have two months off and plan on enjoying them by relaxing, living life and getting pregnant.
Went in for my day 10 ultrasound today and things look good...4 follies, three look like they will be keepers. Had my HCG shot today, tomorrow and Friday are IUI days.
When I was waiting to get my HCG shot there were two women ahead of me..both were prepping for IVF...I began to wonder if they had tried IUI previous and how many times did they try, I also wondered how they were affording IVF...I have begun to think about IVF...at what point do we stop trying IUI and move forward...how would we even afford it...
Like most of you Hubby and I have had the what if conversation...what if IUI doesn't work do we move forward with IVF, do we adopt...do we remain childless??? I have done a lot of flip flopping on adoption, I am fairly sure that I do not want to adopt....I just don't think it is the right choice for me for multiple reasons...so then IVF??? If we are not going to spend the money on adoption then perhaps IVF makes the most sense. Then the big WHAT IF that doesn't work..will we remain childless..maybe.
All of that aside..I am thinking we may never have to actually work through these choices because I believe IUI will work for us. We are healthy, I ovulate well, Hubby  is spermtastic so there is nothing to stand in our way but time...and my time is coming soon.
To all my educator friends out there...HAPPY SUMMER!!!!!



This has been the longest week of the entire school year. For those who don't know..I work in an alternative High school setting with at risk youth. They finished their exams on Monday so it has been just myself and the other teacher I work with in our portable...day after day...He comes and goes much more frequently than I do which is fine but damn I am bored. I have organized, cleaned, prepped and I still have Monday and Tuesday to go!! BUT this is my last Friday of work for two months!
I seem to be feeling fine with the Serophene not a lot of side effects so far which is great. I was feeling down yesterday..sad and lonely feeling. I think it was a combination of my day, my Serophene and the fact that I decided to lower my dosage of my depression/anxiety medication. BAD IDEA. So I am back to my regular dosage and think I will be feeling better in no time.
I am hoping the best for this cycle. I am really wishing that with being able to slow down and move at my own pace my body will want to have a little baby inside. Hopefully....


Good to Go

Good news...cysts are gone and things are a go for IUI number 3. I start my Serophene 100mg everyday day for 5 days, I am hoping the side effects are minimal just like last time. With the heat here in Ontario the hormone sweats will be brutal!!!
It is almost the end of the school year. I have four more days to work and then I am done for the summer. This is really good because I REALLY need a break. I love the kids I work with but with all the stuff going on in my personal life...school is draining right now.
In terms of my everyday life things are good. 12 pounds down...Have not been paying attention to what I have been doing this week so I will have to get back on track. Don't want to sabotage all my hard work. This is a bad habit of mine..start strong with something  but  I don't always follow through. I need to follow through with this. It is important for me and my hubby and my future baby. Summer is approaching at the perfect time...as I am finding it harder to focus on what I need to do the summer will give me lots of  free time to get back on track...establish a healthy routine everyday that can revolve around they gym, yoga and being outside. My goal is to not drive as many places as possible when I am doing things around town. I will ride my bike or walk. Good for me and the environment :D
I would like to put it out there to everyone who has experienced loss recently. My mother has just lost a dear friend to cancer, my friend Ricky has lost his father..and to all of you out there who are grieving the loss of their babies who they never got to hold. hugs to you all.


nothing new

Really I guess that title is not completely true...In the world of fertility there is nothing new..still waiting out this cycle..hoping the cysts are gone come the next cycle.
In terms of life...well a young friends father has passed away recently and the funeral was this week. His father was a wonderful man who has been fighting cancer for many years..still a family can never be ready for the passing of a loved one and this 20 year old young man is struggling. I only hope to be able to support him over the next weeks and months and help him move forward from the anger he feels.
Weight loss is going well. 11 pounds down and feeling good. Still have not gotten to the gym, yikes, I will get there and get back on track but I do feel a bit guilty..like I have been ignoring myself.
This weekend I plan to relax and hang out with hubby. I took a nap this afternoon when I got home from work but I am still sleepy.
Well that is pretty much it...happy Friday and GO ENGLAND!!!