I am so happy and proud of our Canadian athletes!!!! GO CANADA GO!!! is all I have to say.


Saturday night

Saturday night and Canada is doing AMAZING at the Olympics!!!!! I am so proud and excited.

Today hubby and I went to the outdoor show it was great and inspiring reminding us that spring is just around the corner which means get outside time! Bummer is I have been having incredible back pain. BIG PAIN!!! I seem to have some SI joint issues which makes walking for long periods of time very frustating. I am sitting here in a bunch of pain and am really bummed about it. Hubby has been great making dinner, giving massages and babying me, he is the best. One of the main causes is my sleeping, I have been a tummy sleeper since I was a little girl and it seems to have caught up to me so I am trying to sleep on my back or side...very tought. I also know I need to continue to see my massage therapist and chiropactor and I know I need to continue to get exercise but with this back pain the treadmill is out.....so it looks like swimming and the bike it is. I am getting closer to the end of my two week wait so at least this back pain is a distraction, lol. I will use anything as a distraction.



8 days

Well it is eight days past ovulation and things are going smoothly....I have had a little pain on my right side, nothing big. I did wake up last night with the worst night sweat!!!!! OMG! seriously it was horrible my hair was soaked around the neck...yuck. It was very odd since I usually only get these when I am on Clomid or right after my HCG shot.
Other than that nothing new...we have acutally started to get a real snowy winter here in Ontario unfortunatly it has come at a point when we are all really needing spring to arrive. We continue to keep our t.v tuned to the olympics here in our house. We are ready to watch the womens hockey tonight! GO CANADA GO!!!

loving my hubby and cat and looking forward to the weekend.



Thank you so much to Ready to be a Mom for this award. I have to make a list of ten things that make my day and then ten blogs to pass it onto. So here they are ten things that make my day!

1. a long sleep in on a weekend morning
2. snuggles with my cat
3. coffee chats with good friends
4. a day with my family
5. playing lawn darts on a sunny day
6. time and snuggles with my hubby
7. a great yoga class
8. reading a great book
9. hiking in beautiful weather
10. good food

And now to pass it on to some of my favourite blogs....Please take a few minutes to read these wonderful blogs.

1. http://alittlebitohope.blogspot.com/
2. http://littlesttrueblue.blogspot.com/
3. http://janeswritestuff.blogspot.com/
4. http://hipandurbangirl.blogspot.com/
5. http://imbabyhungry.blogspot.com/
6. http://fertilitychick.blogspot.com/
7. http://noswimmers.blogspot.com/
8. http://babygiddings.blogspot.com/
9. http://singleinfertilefemale.blogspot.com/
10. http://waitinglisa.blogspot.com/

So now the snow...it looks like we are finally getting a good old fashion snow storm. Ontario has been very lucky and has missed out on a lot of the snow this year but today it looks like it is coming down. I am safe at home. Left work a little early...when driving in the weather today I wanted to get home safley for me but also for the child I may be carrying....I hope I am carrying...I believe I am carrying. I also want my hubby to come home safe and am bummed that today is a day he had to go to a conference pretty far away :(
Good thoughts for his safe drive home.
Feeling pretty good right now, feeling positive about this cycle :D
I believe, do you believe?


The wait begins

Well it is done. The two IUI's are complete and now we wait. I feel good about the whole thing, although my speculum anxiety did not make it an easy process. Seriously I hate that thing!!! But with the whole thing done I feel happy about the possibilities. We have chosen not to do progesterone this cycle the doctor feels it is not that necessary I am fine with this considering last cycles experience. I asked the doctor the usual parinoid thoughts...how long should I lie down, can I exercise and such. He told me that there is no way those little suckers are going to fall out so not to worry. I can breath a sigh of relief.
So hopeful we are. Which I thinkis important, one must be hopeful.


next steps

Well, went to the clinic today and it seems my system is working quickly again...Day 10 and two little eggs are ready to go!!! got my HCG shot so things are in motion. Tomorrow we do our first IUI and then we do a second one the next day. They like to do two so that they cover all the bases. So hubby has to go in both mornings for 7:30 am and then I go in at 10:00 am for the actual IUI on both days. I am feeling pretty good about it all. I am realzing that I am going to get pregnant, there is no reason why I shouldn't. Tests have come back fine, hubby is fine. I am getting great treatment and have great support so...it is going to happen. I just need to keep an open mind and think positive and allow things to come as they may.
Off to watch olympics - GO CANADA!!!!!


its going to be quite a week!

Valentines day was wonderful, hubby and I went out to dinner Saturday night and then had a lovley day around the house on Sunday. He made me a card and bought me flowers and a can opener...now I know to some a can opener not all that romantic BUT our can opener was busted and made me scream with anger everytime I used it, so a cano pener, very romantic.
This week the ultrasounds begin, I am use to this, the difference this time will be the planned IUI. This is a new world to us...I am excited about the possiblites and nervous about the procedure...there was mention of a ecg or somthing the night before hand, I have no idea what that is about...if any of you are IUI vetrans I would love to hear the details. I am feeling positive this cycle. I have been more active the past two weeks and the sun is staying out longer and longer everyday so that is helping.
For those curious, Bella my hamster is on the mend, her abcess is healing and she is taking her medicine. She hates it though and let me tell you trying to give a hamster a syringe of anit-biotics is not easy. She is so cute it is worth it.
Saw Valentines Day the movie today, very cute, loved it. Hubby enjoyed it too.
On the flip side.


Olympics and the Hamster

Tonight the Olympics start in my wonderful country!!!!!!! I am so excited to watch it. Hubby and I LOVE that Olympics, seriously we get the Olympic fever.
To add to my excitment today I had to take my hamster to the vet. Yes I took her to the vet...I know, I know...its a hamster BUT I love her. She has an absess around her cheek/food pouch. So the lucky vet had to drain it, gross, and nowI have to give her anti-biotics and animal advil daily to keep her from getting sick. Never in my life did I think I would do this. But I am telling you seeing her and my cat sleeping beside each other knowing she is on the mend...makes me happy.
The Clomid is making me weepy this time around, don't know why...but I tear up really easy right now. My face is still breaking out, sucks. Also I had chicken wings for dinner and now feel guilty. Classic.
Tonight I am putting on my jammies, having a tea and watching the Olympics
GO CANADA!!!!!!!


just moving along

So I have gotten over my 'Y' infection...I have gotten over the fact that my period has come and gone. I have gone for my day 3 ultrasound and the IUI is a go. Yes that is right we are moving onto the next step.
I have had a few rough days at work, when it rains it pours. Kids are getting into trouble every where I look and it is SO frustrating. There is little we can do to control it but the amount of time and support that go into my days and the fact that there are very few positive outcomes is exhausting.
I am also frustrated with myself because I have now gained five pounds since my adventure began and that is just not ok. It bothers me that I am not doing what I should be doing...I feel out of control.
I am looking forward to moving forward to IUI to see what the process is to see where it takes us. I am hoping for positive results.
I think the long weekend will help me (yay family day!) It is also nice that it is that same weekend as valentines day. We are hoping to spend lots of quality no worry time together. We have no appts. or ultrasounds during that weekend just time for us. We are going out to dinner (thanks mom and dad)  and spending time at home. Money is really tight so there won't be anything elaborate. But all we really need is each other :D
Off to watch Oprah!


Early arrival

Well last night the cramps began. I knew, I knew it was not implantation cramps I knew what it was. This morning confirmation. No need to do the pregnancy blood test on the 11th, it would be negative. Today I feel pretty good. Not great but I am managing. I so wish it had been positive this month but it wasen't and there is only so much a girl can do....
Wednesday I go for my 3 day u/s check, to make sure everything looks good to start this next cycle. This cycle will be our first IUI cycle...makes me a little nervous and a little more hopeful which in turn than makes me more nervous...you get the idea.
I am really trying to look within myself right now..If I say I am going to go to the gym why don't I go, if I say I am going to eat better why don't I? Something to work on this cycle.
One of the gifts this adventure has given me is the ability to look within myself, be critical towards my lifestyle or habits and want to change them. I do not want to be that person who sabotages themselves and gains weight and then wonders why she can't get pregnant. I am a little chubby to begin with...I don't need anymore fat on me to make my body work any harder. I am trying to get rid of that fat. Today though, I was in La Senza trying on bras and I felt like a pilsbury dough girl. Yuck. Need to get working.
I wait and see what day three brings...



Today is Sunday, I am feeling a bit better. The Reiki did wonders for my energy, it was very interesting because my practioner saw a stopwatch when cleansing my uterus and it showed the hands spinning around an around...the only number that was came up was the number 6. Who knows what that means but it is interesting. I went out with  my a great girl friend and we talked and talked and talked, very fun. It also helps that it is sunny out that lifts my spirits.
Bummer is that I still have a 'Y' infection I tried monistat and it was a disaster!!!! it reacted very badley with me. So I have now moved on to canesten, it seems to react better with me. So I am hoping that within the three days this thing will be GONE!!!!!
Today I plan to go for a walk in the sun and go grocery shopping for good stuff for us.
Happy Superbowl Sunday! (I don't actually watch football but seems like the right hting to say)


getting there...

Ok so today is a bit better...I am still not feeling well, but the problem really is that I am not feeling healthy. Work is stressing me out, money is stressing me out..I have just realized we have already spent over 500 dollars for two rounds of fertility treatment and money is tight. breath just breath.....John is going to take over the books for right now. Stress is bad, very bad especially when you are trying to have a baby...
So with the feeling stressed and the feeling unhealthy I am looking forward to my reiki treatment tomorrow. It will help cleanse my chakras and what not and help me get back on track this weekend. I am going to dedicate this weekend to me and my body and mind.
Still off the progesterone. Gave me the most HORRID 'Y' infection, the worst ever. It is getting better though so I am going to stay off the progesterone and see how it goes and then talk to the doctor about what other form of progesterone I can take for the next cycle (fingers crossed there isn't)
Tomorrow is Friday. THANK GOD!!!!!!! and I will be in much better spirits on Sunday night.



Yes I am sick. My hubby has not been well and now here I am. I had to cancel my trainer session today, this is not good for me because it is what helps keep me on track emotionally and physically. Luckily if I am feeling better than she has space for me tomorrow. So I am going to rest up tonight and see.
I have decided to go off my progesterone at least for a few days. I have been getting a bad reaction from it..I noticed it last cycle and it seems worse this cycle. So I am going to give my body a break and see....I hope that this will not affect my possible pregnancy..fingers crossed.
It is funny as I type this I keep typing strange things and then having to retype them. I am sick for sure. So with that. I am off to relax and bed.
Hope I mend quickly.


Back again...

Ok so I am back again tonight...My poor hubby is sick he is upstairs in bed..poor man :( He hates having to admit that he is sick and the poor boy is.
So here I am feeling not quite so bad as a few hours ago but not good. I am trying to give myself a break and not stress myself out about one bad day...I know I have reason to be stressed. Today was first day back to school, beginning of second semester, I had my schedule changed around a bit, this works for me but it has stressed some of the kids out. I feel their frustration and insecurities. I also found out that a young woman who I have worked with (very at risk, multiple issues) is pregnant and is 10 weeks. She is couch surfing and has no money...it is very likley that this baby will not be her first priority. My first thought was not why her and not me. My first thought was what can I do to help make the first months of this childs life more comforatble...Once the sex of the baby is known I am going to start collecting clothes from friends and family that their children no longer need. So with all this comes some emotion of what is to come for her and what is to come for me and how differently our childrens lives will be. The curve balls life throws at us are amazing.
I have been thinking about my 2 week wait. I am wondering why I am not anxious about it, I am not stressing a out wether or not I am pregnant. Does this mean my body is telling me that I shouldn't even bother worrying about pregnancy this cycle and look forward to the next. Or am I just protecting myself....Time will tell.


Today I don't feel great...I am feeling lazy and I have eaten crummy food today. I hate these days where I sabotage myself. All it does is make me feel bad about myself. I guess what I have to do is start over again tommorow.

I am still in my two week wait, perhaps this self sabotage comes from the WAIT....

I don't know, I hope tomorrow will be better.



Tonight is another cold one. I am sitting here on my yoga mat with the hot water bottle. I got a lovely present today, I had orderd some yoga tights from Lululemon and they arrived :D I am wearing them now, very comfy. Today I carry on with my purusharthas...Today is Artha
Artha refers to prosperity, abundance and success. It is to live with ease in our world. You need artha to maintain Dharma...

Knowing my Dharma what do I need to play my role in the world?
To practice my Dharma, I need to be able to have a home to have a car to get around when I need to, it gives me a sense of independence. I need to have clothes and other things that can make me feel good about me...it is important to feel good about me so I can help others feel good about themselves. I also need my wedding rings to always remind me of my husbands love.

Where do I place value?
I would love to be able to say that I place no value on material things but that would not be true and defeat the purpose of this exercise. I do place value on material things, it is important for me to look good and feel good. It is important for me to have pretty things. However I do not place these things above love, committment, friendship and time. I recognize that these are the highest values in my life.

Do I have enough?
Yes, yes, yes I do have enough.

Are my things making me happy or are they stealing my joy?
Things can steal my joy..what I mean is that I do like things. Also starting out as a young couple we need things...this however can put us in some debt, not a staggering amount but any debt is bad in my opinion, so yes it can take away happiness.
I do however enjoy the things I have in my life and feel I am not excessive in nature this make me feel statisfied in myself.

Am I afraid of having more?
I am not afraid of having more, I am afraid of wanitng more and what that can bring. I fear being in some huge amount of debt that would just eat me and my family alive. I need to be stable and secure.

What does wealth mean to me besides money?
Wealth is love and friendship.