just an update

Life is moving along...I am happy with the fact that I did not go forward with the Serophene as I am still getting cyst pain and my face is still breaking out....so the estrogen is pumping...yuck.
I had a wonderful weekend with hubby...it felt like such a long weekend but it wasn't..it was just us enjoying the sun and each other. We went hiking and spent a lot of time outside and loved the sun!!!! I also got  my hair done so I am much blonder and feeling ready for the summer. I can't wait for the summer to begin, I plan on enjoying it to the fullest. I know I will get pregnant eventually and I refuse to let life pass me by while I am waiting...I will not do that. I will live life to the fullest.
In terms of weight loss I am doing well. I have now lost 10.5 pounds and I feel good. I plan on pushing my exercise up a notch to keep things going.
Looking to the future!


not happy, not at all.

Today was my day three ultrasound...during this they check to see how things are going..whether or not there is anything new or unusual.
Well there was...two cysts. You see I have 6 follies and only 4 ovulated so the other two stuck around. I was told it would most likely not be an issue but that I may get a phone call.
I got a phone call, I was told that the two cysts were estrogen producing meaning there is no medication or IUI this cycle...no nothing really. Just good old natural trying. The reason for this is that if I was to take my Serophene it would increase the estrogen in my body dramatically making the cysts painful and most likely they would rupture. yuck. So here I am ready for round three and my body has put on the breaks.
I am pretty upset only because I felt like I was in a good head space for trying this next cycle and now it feels all turned around....sort of topsy turvy....so I will be angry for a little and then I will move on. Tomorrow I am getting my hair done and I had been contemplating a pedicure...I am getting the pedicure for SURE now.


take 3???

Well it is the true deal, not just spotting anymore...full on crampy period. Yuck. So. That means I am onto my third IUI cycle. 3rd times a charm?? Lets hope....
On the positive side of this I am now able to get my hair done..it really needs it and I love being lighter in the summer time. Also I am still continuing to lose weight and get healthier so I can continue this journey...and I am going to buy myself a new bathing suit as a reward :D. One other thing I am realizing is that if this is the cycle...which fingers crossed it is I won't have to worry about coming to work with morning sickness...since I am off in the summer (no school) it will give me time to just relax and do whatever I need to do.
Yes I cried last night and yes I hate it but I do know it will happen, I have to recognize I only have so much control and put my faith in the universe.


seeing spots

Yes it is true, I am spotting and crampy and it sucks. more later.


Hello all just checking in to say all is well. I am still in the middle of the dreaded wait so preoccupie myself I am focusing on gardening. I have started a second blog to focus on my gardening. If you want to follow it as well check it out.


Talk soon.


feeling a bit anxious

To start thanks for the responses through the blog and emails about my dilemia I posted...very helpful :D
I am on cycle 20 and I am 8 days past ovulation...for the past few days I have been crampy :(
not bad cramps but some that come and go. It worries me, of course it does, I know..I know...but it really does. For those of you who have not experienced this path of infertility...well it is really hard to explain  to you how horrible it feels to not know. To go between is that implantation cramps or early period cramps. There really is no way to tell and it sucks. Like a makes me feel sick and want to puke suck.Other body things that suck right now are break out on my chin and damn I am feisty!!!! don't get on my bad side.
So I wait and wait. Since I started this process with the fertility clinic I have not done a home test once. Crazy huh!!! Well this cycle I am thinking about it...If I make it to 14 DPO I think I might test.....maybe......maybe not....maybe.....


waiting and thinking

Well I am five days past ovulation...and I am feeling good. I fully believe this is it....I have a feeling it is possible it is even twins!!! Can you imagine...I find myself talking to my tummy, telling my little eggs to multiple and cozy in. Plently of eggs and little guys to make it all happen...so this is it. The prospect of that has had me thinking.....How and when will I tell all, when will I blog the good news. You see unlike most of you I have been very open with my friends and family about my blog. Friends and loved ones read all  my updates. They know where I am in my journey at all times. This has been a wonderful way to keep everyone in the loop, to let them know how I am. It allows people to not ask me a million questions when they see me...and for me to NOT have to answer them. SO...If I get pregnant when do I blog about it. If I blog it right away not only will you my bleeps know but so will everyone else I know and love. Do I want that?? The time period of keeping it between hubby and I will not exist for very long....If I decide not to post my family and friends will go crazy with wondering, they have been with me on this journey the whole time..is it fair to take them out of the loop.
I am leaning towards complete honesty and openness...everyone knows about my cycles and counts and what not so perhaps it is the next logical step.  In fact all of you (friends and family included) are reading this now....I think you will want to know straight from the beginning to be with me on the full journey, this was my intention.
Any thoughts on this...family and friends and bleeps...what would you do???


now we wait

It begins...
We did our two iui and are feeling good. I had six eggs and ovulated multiple eggs and hubby had GREAT! counts. Doctors said hubby can hold his chest high and be proud of himself.  LOL, boys to to hear that. We are feeling very positive and looking forward to our positive results.
In terms of my arm I am doing well, my arm is healing and the bruises are pretty much gone. It is good. Although I am sick of wearing the sling and am regusing to wear it at home.
Weight loss is going well, with all the hormones and the horse incident I have not been getting to the gym, am exhausted and bloating. But I did lose .5 pounds...still a loss and I feel good about that.
I need to get back to the gym, I really need to get back there though, it always makes me feel so much better about myself.
later skaters.


Mothers day

Today is mothers day. So first happy mothers day to all of you moms out there and happy mothers day to all of us moms to be. This is a hard day for many....some because they have lost their mothers or never known their mothers others because they have yet to be a mom. This is a hard day for me.
I was wondering how I would react to today...would I ignore it, be angry or sad. It turns out just a little down...in need of space. I will be seeing my own mommy today and that will help for sure. A hug from her can solve the worlds problems in my opinion.
I went in for my day 11 ultrasound today. There are four follies!!!! They are all a good size so we went ahead with the HCG shot today,  that means IUI Monday and Tuesday. That means next week I will be pregnant, thats right I really beleive it. This is my cycle.
My arm is still very sore and I have a huge bruise on my chest, ouch, I am still generallly in pain but I do have more movement then I did yesterday so that is good. I will spend today relaxing and prepare myself for a week of IUI and work with a busted up body.


falling of the horse...

Well not actually falling. THROWN!! Yes that is right I was thrown of a horse. My class and I went horse back riding and as I was getting on my horse he got scared or somthing and threw me off....the horse master could barley control the horse and could not even get on him. He said he has very rarley seen anything like that before. Of course I am hurt...bruising, pain a badly cut up right arm. No breaks but a possible fracture that could not be deteced...having to wear am arm in my sling. 
As horrible as this is I have to be grateful for the fact that this happened before my IUIs and before the 2 week wait. I cannot imagine the stress I would be going through. Of course I did have to get exrays done and will have to let them know..hopefully it wont matter. I will find out tomorrow when i go in for my first ovulation ultrasound....
I am anxious to get this cycle going with the iui and such :D
Hoping things are good to go tomorrow.


My weekly update

Things are good. I am two more pounds down. A total of seven...I am starting to see some changes in me so that makes me smile.
I am back on with the fertility treatment. I got a passing grade on my day three ultrasound. I am now on 100mg of Sherophene and there are not a lot of side effects except for being tired and my internal body temperature has gone up a bunch and I am hot and my hands are swollen all the time!
I am feeling positive about things. I know I will get pregnant and I know it will be soon..until then I will focus on my weight loss and healthy lifestyle :D By having two goals it allows me to not get obsessed with just one.
I am also starting to plan my garden,we are waiting on grading so we will no be able to put our fence up this summer so it is pots for me. I will be planting a variety of veggies and am looking forward to eating them :D
Talk soon.