mixed emotions

Today is a day of mixed emotions for me. To start I am still in the self loathing place about weight loss. I feel generally great about myself in every other aspect of my life but my darn weight is a forever issue. I am still up the two pounds still not moving forward. It is frustrating and makes me want to scream. This morning I spent a few minutes just looking at myself in the mirror trying not to say mean things. Bummer.

To get myself in gear I am trying to figure out what activity makes me happy. What do I actually LIKE to do so that I can stay active. I have discovered with absolute certainty that I like to walk. Walking on the treadmill is meh. But walking outside I love, hiking in nature I love more. So there it is I am not a runner (although I don't mind it) I am not a gym rat. I do enjoy biking but I AM a walker. So walk I will.

This afternoon we celebrated a students birthday..she is turning 16 and really wanted a cake. So I bought her a cake and we had it as a class, everyone was happy and we were smart to do it at the end of the day so the sugar high would hit them once they left. When I asked her if she was having cake at home as well she said no. Her family could not afford a cake for her. She said it so factually with no emotion. It is just a part of her life.

I am happy I am part of her life to provide her with a little something extra on days like today. Happy Birthday Keara.

1 comment:

  1. Then keep walking girl! I love to walk outside too....it far beats anything in the gym. Just keep it up, the weight will come off, promis. The story about your student really pulled at my heart strings. It's so nice of you that you could provide here with something special on her day that she wouldn't otherwise had. So thoughtful of you!


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