I have been so depressed. So horribly depressed. Losing my cat Pudding was not just a loss of my little boy who I loved with all my heart but a reminder of how empty life can be. When we lost him all of the infertility pain came back...the hurt and the pain of it all. But now slowly I am coming back. I am seeing the light.
I did see my new counselor and it was horrible. She was understanding and all that jazz that therapists are suppose to be but her experience in the world of infertility sucks. In fact she actually said my most hated phrase....'if you relax it may happen for you' WHAT SERIOUSLY! yes, she said that. It took all my will power to not say fuck you and walk out. But I didn't. I held my cool and nodded and tried to politely explain that it does not work that way. I will not be going back and am saddened by the experience as most of my experience with therapists have been positive. However it did help to realize how much infertility is a part of my depression and that I need to find someone who has experience and knowledge in this field.
So with the light shinning on me again I can feel my face lifting. I am making my way out of the fog and am looking forward to a fabulous holiday season.