after shock

Ok...so I am experiencing some after shocks of this negative result.

What if I can never get pregnant. Will I be happy. Will I be able to come to terms with not having a child?? I don't know how my relationship will be affected...will it be fine, grown stronger or become well..a shadow of a marriage.

I don't know if I will be ok being a women who has to answer..no I never had children every time I am asked.

I do know I cannot adopt...it is just not something that is for me.

Is this it?? Me, hubby and our animals????



  1. So very sorry to hear about the negative... I was holding my breath waiting for this result. It sucks big time! Glad to hear that you are going to get some things done for yourself, like fixing the meniscus and taking the holiday and getting to the gym. It is true that you don't know where this is going to end up, but it can very much end up with a baby. And if it does not, the answers to your questions lie in you and your husband. My marriage was the strongest it has ever been during our infertility battle. Since we had the baby we are spending way less time hugging, sleeping together, talking about things, etc. We try our hardest, but there just isn't as much time. So, regarding your marriage, as long as you make peace with the outcome, it will be stronger not weaker. If you get bitter and lost, and you don't work on acceptance full time (because I found that acceptance work took all my waking hours), then it might suffer, but from reading your blog I doubt it. Many hugs. Life does not go on and on like this forever. It somehow resolves itself.

  2. Karen Sinden10/3/11, 7:40 AM

    I am sorry for the result but hopeful that it will happen. Enjoy the time you have together on your little holiday. Be well

  3. I'm so so sorry. My heart is just breaking for you. I have the same questions as you. I think most of us do. You aren't alone...

  4. I know you're reeling from shock and grief. But I don't think now is time to consider these big questions. Give your heart some time to heal, talk to your doctor, and face these another day.

  5. Sorry that you didn't get lucky on your first try, but if it's any consolation, I read a study that stated that around 70% of women are successful after three rounds of ivf. Those are great odds, and you're definitely not out of the game yet. Sending you hugs from faraway. XX

  6. These are all very normal questions to ask and thoughts to have after a BFN. I definitely thought many of these after my first IVF failed. But as you know, it's not the end. Give yourself the time to grieve - this is a loss, and treat it as such. Sending you much love, my dear.

  7. aww i'm so sorry to hear this ... :(
    i wish i could say something to make it easier, and not having a child myself, i can only read your words, and feel your pain.

    stay hopeful.
    this isn't the end.


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