first day back at work

To start, I found my camera, it is at my cousins house. Thanks goodness I thought all my Christmas memories were lost.
Today was the first day back to work....working in a school you can really see the reflection of your mood in the students. Pretty much everyone, staff and students were happy to be back but were tired and were having a hard time convincing themselves it was a good thing that they were back to school
I continue to have on and off again cramps and am feeling overall downtrodden.....I am starting to prepare myself for what I will feel when and if I have to start cycle two of this process. I imagine I will feel guilt, that is a common emotion for me in this world of infertility. I feel so bad that my body just does not like to do the right thing at the right time....I just want to be able to tell John that yes we are going to have a baby and make that phone call to my mom. Of course the other standout emotion would be sadness. The good thing is I am a pretty resilient lady and will just get back on track. If cycle two does come around it will be interesting trying to balance all the meds and ultrasounds around school...I will have to make sure I look after myself and not rush around like a crazy woman.
A close friend of me told me that she felt I was very brave going public with my blog...I had never though about it...I find this process very cathartic, it allows me to vent and just ramble and know that those I care about and however else can read this and know how I am feeling and where I am at day by day or week by week. Braveness is a big compliment in my book so thank you.